No BAD kids.

No Bad Kids –

Written by our Group Curriculum Leader

At our setting, we’re deeply committed to nurturing a respectful and emotionally safe environment for your children. As part of this ongoing commitment, our team is currently exploring No Bad Kids by Janet Lansbury—an insightful and practical guide to respectful parenting and guidance. We believe her approach has much to offer both educators and families, and we’re excited to share some key ideas with you.

About No Bad Kids by Janet Lansbury.

Navigating how to guide young children’s behaviour can be challenging. With so much conflicting advice, parents are often left feeling confused and overwhelmed. Janet Lansbury, drawing from her years of experience in parent-toddler classrooms, offers a respectful and clear approach that supports both the child’s development and the parent’s confidence.

Lansbury’s philosophy is rooted in the idea that there are no “bad” kids—only children who are still learning how to express their feelings and needs. When we view challenging behaviour as communication rather than defiance, we can respond with empathy, clarity, and strong yet gentle leadership.

Her work is inspired by Magda Gerber’s RIE (Resources for Infant Educarers) approach, which sees even the youngest children as whole people—sentient, aware, and deserving of respect. This philosophy aligns beautifully with our own ethos at Nurture: building relationships based on honesty, trust, and compassion.

Key Principles from the Book

No Bad Kids addresses everyday challenges with toddlers and young children—tantrums, hitting, testing boundaries, and more. It provides real-world scenarios, along with Lansbury’s calm, encouraging responses to parents, helping readers develop both confidence and practical strategies.

Here are some guiding principles we’ve taken from her work:

  • Create a predictable environment with age-appropriate expectations.

  • Don’t take behaviour personally or label the child.

  • Respond with calm leadership—think of yourself as the CEO of your family.

  • Avoid lectures, emotional reactions, or consequences that create guilt or shame.

  • Use clear, simple language such as:

    “I won’t let you do that. If you throw that again, I’ll need to take it away.”

    This should be said in the moment, calmly and with follow-through.

  • Use first-person language to model clear communication.

  • Avoid time-outs, sticker charts, or other gimmicks.

  • Use natural consequences to help children learn from experience.

  • Allow children to express their feelings freely, without judgment.

  • Offer unconditional love—never conditional approval or affection.

  • Never resort to smacking or physical punishment.

Why Toddlers “Act Out”

It’s important to remember that setting limits is part of helping children grow—not a reaction to bad behaviour. Often, toddlers “act out” not because they are misbehaving, but because they are:

  • Hungry, tired, or overstimulated

  • Seeking clearer boundaries

  • Testing your calm leadership

  • Reacting to your emotional tone

  • Releasing big feelings

  • Imitating what they’ve seen

  • Needing connection or reassurance

Supporting Better Communication

You can strengthen your relationship and reduce stress at home by:

  • Speaking in full, clear sentences—skip the baby talk

  • Framing requests positively instead of always saying “no”

  • Offering real, limited choices (“Would you like the red cup or the blue one?”)

  • Acknowledging and naming their feelings to build empathy and trust

Final Thoughts

Your family is your most important team. And like any team, strong relationships and clear communication make all the difference. Lansbury’s work reminds us that guiding children respectfully isn’t about control—it’s about connection. With patience, presence, and practice, we can support our children’s growth with kindness and confidence.

If you’d like to explore more, Janet Lansbury’s website is full of helpful blog posts and resources for parents and caregivers.

trudie Kroef